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I dunno what to say...

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I've been waiting a while to write this. I even tried to write a draft of it, in anticipation of this site being up again, but even then it was very difficult to write.

I'll probably not make much sense...the thoughts in my mind are very scattered and the emotions are running deep at the moment, so please be patient and bear with me.

*sigh*

I want everyone to know that I'm fully aware that I've failed each and every one of you. I failed myself, my family and my Lord.

It's not a real fun place to be but although I'm there, I do understand many of the whys.

Sorry seems so shallow to say. But I am, because failure was never my intention.

When I was asked to take over this site a few years ago, I came in with a gusto. I had plans and dreams for this place and all of you. I wanted it to be hugely successful and to bring blessings to many peoples lives here.

And then I fell apart.

I lost my home to a fire, I almost lost my family and all that is precious there because of wrong decisions I had made, and for a long period of time I was facing uncertain health issues. I became very ill physically and for a while, doctors were unable to find the reasons. I had to look at issues like dying and leaving my children behind, and it was a very scarey time for me. Finances became tight and there was a point where we almost lost our home. And in the interim, I got behind on payments to our server and we temporarily lost our site at www.mrssurvival.com and www.mrssurvival.net.

I've been a mess, and I know it.

Many of you have been, and are, angry with me. I understand and I'm sorry. Many of you are hurt and confused because of my actions, and I'm heartbreakingly sorry for that too. Many of your are disillusioned and tired of it all, and I understand that too, and am sorry I was the cause of that.

And for some reason, it all hit me today...where we are all at here, and I went flying into my husband's arms cause I'm scared.

I dunno what to say, and I dunno what to do.

But I felt that I owed everyone that I've hurt or disappointed here a public apology, and I felt that I owed everyone an explanation, as confusing as that explanation may seem.

I've asked forgiveness from my Lord and from my family. For some reason, I'm not asking forgiveness from ya'll cause I don't really feel like I deserve it.

But whatever ya'll want to do with this site, whatever ya'll want me to do, I'm open if you have any suggestions.

Other than that, I've laid this at the foot of His Throne, for Him to do as He chooses.

Thank you for all you've unselfishly given over the years. I know that for me, the memories will last a life time.

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Well, 3 days ago I was more optimistic in MY life, but now it is 12:12PM, and is already 101 degrees without a swamp cooler and no water. I can certainly relate to chaos Darlene, but life just happens sometimes and there is not a thing you can do about it but hold on and pray really hard. I'm still working on last year's Christmas ornament exchange and if it takes 4 years, I will get these puppies done and in the mail. Remember my husband's employment? (or lack thereof since last fall.) He just got a job this past Wednesday. (Oh BOY.)

Please try not to feel so badly. Sometimes inexplicable things happen to us that make everything impossible to deal with.

Kelly

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As I said in my e-mail to you (hope you got it), there are very few things I would hold a grudge for.

Having your house burn down and getting sick don't count!!! I've never held that against anybody!!!

(((((hugs))))))

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Darlene,

Hey, believe me I am not (never was) angry, etc...

No apology necessary. You didn't even have to explain. Let's just be happy and move on.

You are in my daily prayers. God cares and we care too. Hang in there

Freundin

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Oh, Darlene, You haven't done anything to apologize for...and I can't even imagine that anyone here would have been upset with you. What's happened to you is LIFE. It doesn't always go the way we intend for it to....and sometimes that's a blessing in disguise. You and the moderators are so appreciated for all of your efforts. I didn't know about alot of the things you described in your post, and I'm so sorry you've had such a rough go. A vital function of Mrs. S has always been the support freely given by Mrs. S participants for anyone who is experiencing any kind of difficult time. Don't beat yourself up! Without you, there would be no Mrs. S, and even though I'm not really one of the gang, I've been fortunate to learn so much here, be supported when times were tough; I've laughed until tears streamed down my face, and I've cried tears of sympathy for other members. This is a cyber family, and no one is expected to be perfect. I say a resounding THANK YOU for all that you've done for all of us. {{{Darlene}}}

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Welcome back, Darlene. We are all just happy that you are able to join us again.

Things happen in each one of our lives and we just have to go with the flow. smile.gif

I am just happy that you are back and you and MM have gotten the site going again. smile.gif

Thank you again for all you two do. ((((Darlene and MM))))

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snowmomjune.gif

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Life is always throwing curves at someone, in a family you just roll around the corner, and pick yourself up and dust yourself off and start all over again. smile.gif

Hey haven't I heard that somewhere before?

It is just great to be back.

((((((Darlene)))))) smile.gifsmile.gif

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lois.jpg

[This message has been edited by Lois (edited July 20, 2002).]

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Dar, this is an imperfect word and we are all imperfect people. Life happens and sometimes it isnt easy to deal with... stop agonizing over what you have had no control over hun.

In the past 3 years I have gone thru a divorce, lost my home, experienced a near death illness myself. Last year I suffered a second light stroke, 11 months ago buried my grandson and 6 weeks later my Da... as a result of all the stress I let alot of people here at Mrs.S down... some have forgiven me and some are still angry with me.

I have spent months grieving and praying and finally laid it down at the lords feet because I was making myself ill again over it all. I remember "Da Boss" dancing in her blue dress... what a beautiful site you were too.. smile.gif and also when she was angry at me... but I never stopped loving you and caring about you and you needs to stop beating yourself up over all of this.

Life happens and it either beats us or makes us stronger in the end.... Ive never been a quitter and neither have you girlfriend.... so let the past take care of itself and go on from today... KOTC Twila

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Darlene:

I haven't been to this site since the end of last year. I read your e-mail and it showed what a sweet heart you had. Of course I don't have any hard feelings...I haven't been here...but I understand how things in life can be overwhelming. I think that your post here (and the e-mail) show what kind of character and heart you truly have. That immediately drew me back to this site.

I understand the things life throws at you since this year we have waited with my mother-in-law for a heart transplant which she finally received and then 4 days later my mom unexpectedly passed away at home by her self of a heart attack. 16 days after that my dear hubby was in a serious car accident where our truck was totalled and yet he escaped with a concussion, scrapes and cuts. I had an Aunt pass away and now I have an uncle in the hospital who is not supposed to make it. I think we all have times in our lives where things are overwhelming and we cannot keep up with things as well as we would desire.....but that's okay!!!!

I am sorry I blabbed on...I just wanted to tell you that your e-mail encouraged me to come back and check out this site again. And you know what? I forgot how much I like this site!!!! smile.gif

Have a great day!!!!

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Darlene you have always tried to give more than is humanly possible in my opinion, so now relax and just be happy. It will all come together and it will be 110%just like you always want things done. Only this time how about 1% from 110 people. Best of luck to you and your family, you definitely deserve it.

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One of the greatest gifts you can be given is to know that you are not alone.

Thank you for all your emails and kind words. I wasn't expecting anything and have been quite overwelmed by the many things ya'll have said.

The memories of the past few years here come rushing back and I am reminded once again why I fell in love with this site back then.

I really AM *home*.

(((((((MrsSurvival Women)))))))

 

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I have contemplated what I wanted to say for a day now.

(((((Darlene)))))

 

We have met face to face, and I trust that you know the integrity of my heart and my love for this site. You need to know that this next sentence is filled with more love for you than you may ever know.....

I would like slap you silly with a wet noodle for not sharing your burdens with us sooner!!

We are family and when one of us is down, we will come to the rescue of that one.

It has been said by a wise king of old:

"Two are better than one because they have a good return for thier labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to pick him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two canresist him. A cord of *three strands* is not quickly torn apart."

We here at Mrs Survival can be that 3 strand cord if ever you should have need (administration, moderaters and members)

if only you let us smile.gif

My hearts desire is that you would go in peace and live this day forward in freedom's fullest.

Great to see you back in the swing of things.

Blessings and love,

Ginger

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This is my first time back at Mrs. Survival in a long, long time. Darlene, it was your sincere email that brought me back. I didn't leave for any particular reason, just got out of the habit of checking in here. Believe me, I understand how life happens. Been through a house fire myself. I have to say it was real close to being as hard of a time as when my husband (first) and our daughter were killed by a drunk driver. Our fire happened when I was pregnant with our last child. A week after the fire my water broke and several days later he was born 7 weeks premature. God is good, though, and never lets you down if you ask Him for help.

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What a WONDERFUL,LOVING, STRONG family we have here!!!

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DebbieLee.jpg?bc.FHX9AZpQpY9DM

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awwwwwwww ((((((deena)))))) I know what you mean.

And Ginger...I know...I just got very very lost...

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You don't have to apologize, Things happen that are beyond our control. We have all survived and as for me I am just glad we are back home. So let's CELEBRATE!! our homecoming it feels like just getting home from a long vacation. It is so nice to see familiar things around us. Have a cup (_)o tea or coffee? And have a piece of pound cake just made. Then put your feet up and relax we are home again and you can even kick your shoes off if you wish.

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Yep! The Wet Noodle whippin' is the most appropriate Price to Pay!! Wish I'd thought of that! However, Having been gone for so long, I chose to respond to Darlene in Private! I didn't even know if she would get it; was just so flabbergasted that she would be so burdened over this site....as wonderful a place as it is....all that she was going through, makes it pale in comparison!!! We love you Darlene, and anyone who enjoys the fellowship here owes you a debt of gratitude, along with the others who helped make it a reality! My Hubby, who doesn't chat much on the web, doesn't really understand the "community spirit" of sites like this....but I think it is great! I just don't like it when fussin' and fuedin' starts up and feelings are hurt! Hopefully, we can escape those types of situations!

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Since I don't have any noodles in my pantry to soak and beat you with, I shall just have to move in close and give you a GREAT BIG HUG!!!!!!!!

I only wish you had given permission to the people who knew what was going on to share it with us. I am so sorry that you went through the illness and the financial woes "alone," (unlike the fire and it's aftermath). You have nothing to apologize for Dar.

Welcome Home!!! smile.gif

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me2.jpg

"Sooner or later everyone quotes their mother."

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There were VERY few that knew what was going on and even then they didn't always know everything... frown.gif

But the tears have been so close to the surface all day today *so what else is new lol* cause I sit here in awe and read all that everyone writes and I think to myself...

WOW.

In all the time I've been on the net, I've never ever ever found a place such as this. There are many wonderful places out there but I guess, for me, this is where I'm meant to be.

*smile*

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d5.jpg

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So many times you have lifted us up when we are down, please let us be here for you now smile.gif I think you have been expecting too much from yourself {{{{{{Darlene}}}}}}

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Hey There,

I've just found and joined this group for the first time. I'd been looking for a connection with other like minded women about *disaster preparedness* as it's okay in my part of Miami to call it.

After all, your not being revolutionary or extremist as long as your thinking hurricanes (for some reason that makes it perfectly normal to have 55 cans of tuna and bottled water in your pantry). LOL.

But then I read Darlene's note of apology and wigged out. ¿Que?

Did this woman just apologise for health problems and *gasp* her house burning down for not providing us a forum to discuss preparedness? Should someone more familiar remind her we're thrilled she and her kin are alive??? Perhaps a few snaps of that wet noodle and creating a list of priorities for her? I'm saying all that tongue-in-cheek trying to get Darlene to smile and realize how important she is..even to a newcomer.

I mean, well... I'm just a grateful woman who will watch the unfolding of this refurbished web site with pleasure and gratitude.

Hugs and warm hello from Biscayne Bay.

Cookie Jar (or just cookie)

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OH MY GOSH! YOU'RE IN MIAMI!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO! LOL

I am SOOOOOOOO excited! LOL

Your post, along with everyone elses, give me such hope...you just have no idea.

And chica...I KNOW all about those tuna fish cans! LOL That and alot of other things I learned in my crash course with Hurricane Andrew...

I am so glad you are here. This is such a surprise after all these years to find someone from my home town. Just you wait until you get to know the women here better. You will NEVER EVER find any better than I've been blessed to find here.

((((((cookie jar))))))

*darlene goes skipping off singing...who took the cookie from the cookie jar...*

*smile*

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Hi! I'm Maggie's Buddy. Maggie is our cat. I've visited here since Spring, 1999, but I decided that now was a good time to register and post for the first time. I wanted to say how glad I am that the site is back. I really missed all of you while it was gone. Darlene, I agree with RenieB, sometimes things just get beyond our control. I'm glad that things are better for you. "Smile" (I have to learn how to use the symbols.)

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LOL!!!!

Chicadita Darlene!(and new gal-pals)

Amazing! LOOK! Another Miami girl (or grrrrrl as the teens I work with call us). I'm thrilled to be here and hearing you sound so much more positive. Not mention hearing Maggie's buddy talk about clueless-ness with the icons. Is there an icon forum to help us? LOL.(It's sad, apparently we need adult icon-supervision.*grin*).

I have a billion preparedness questions and can't wait to swing in and ask...They are going to sound like goofy things like...are you familiar with minature (I cannot spell!!!) fruit trees with viable edible not ornamental fruit? Have you had any luck with them? Well...I'll take this same question to the gardens forum, of course.

But Oye! Homegrrrrl, remember to cut yourself some slack. I don't think you really realize that some of us are simply thrilled to be here. To make connections and to ask questions that won't bring a sneer.

(Otherwise know as the South Beach sneer of contempt for common folk such as me). Yes, I am still working on making Darlene openly laugh. So ocassionally, I might through out home terms like I have not seen Darlene on channel Seven (the local Jerry Springer style channel) so all cannot be that bad. *grin* She would not have had a fire on Channel Seven... it would have been a *blazing inferno*.

I really want to connect and feel it's okay to say things like the economy, the globalization process, emergency preparedness ideas are topics that concern me but not be laughed at for it. if that makes sense?

hugs all around,

Cookieeeeee

 

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