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whine, part two


Ambergris

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In March and early April, I thought I had minor injuries from my car wreck. My concussion damage was bad enough that I didn't realize I had any.

 

After some ups and downs with the neck, I'm in a sharp downturn. My neck guy has recommended surgical removal of two disks now, maybe another later. To put that off, I'll be taking injections in the spine. It isn't the pain. I am 53 years old, and I can handle some pain. It's the fact that in a terrifyingly brief period of time--less than two weeks--I seem to have lost about half the strength in my left arm, along with some of the sensation. This was tested week before last, and was fine. Every couple of weeks, one doctor or another has checked and found my left and right sides both evenly strong. Then yesterday he pushed down on both my fists and my left fist went down. I couldn't believe it, and told him to do that again. The left fist gave way. Push this way, curl that way, don't let me move your hand...the left hand had no resistance, no oompf. I was speechless, in disbelief, and then I was scared.

 

And yesterday I took extraordinary measures to lay hands on the knee MRI report I've been trying to lay hands on for a month and a half. Remember the shockingly sunshiney statement that my lingering problem there was just bursitis/synovitis? There was, apparently, a miscommunication. In reality, the cartilage is softened and misshapen and the MRI shows significant amounts of Type Two, whatever Type Two means. And they can't rule out tears in the meniscus. No wonder the PT has done my knee absolutely no good.

 

I had seven medical appointments this week. I'll have eight next week. So far, only six are scheduled for the week after. There's no end in sight. Today I asked the chiropractor if I'd ever be able to work with my bees again. He said I should, but the question would be whether doing it was worth the pain. Also, I'm still striving to reach the reading speed I enjoyed in the fourth grade. Maybe that will take weeks. Maybe months.

 

It gets discouraging, you know? At least I have insurance. And lots of banked sick leave.

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