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Calling all Step Mothers/Fathers


MrsClark

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How many step mom's and dad's do we have here?

 

I am step mother to two boys, Wife #1 and Wife #2 both have one boy, I am wife #3! Fun fun, let me tell you. Plus, my DH is step dad to my daughter, which goes pretty well.

 

Just wondering....

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I am stepmom to DD 14 and DD 12. They have lived with me since they were 4 and 2, but see their "real" mom every other weekend and talk to her every day. It was working out pretty well until the teen years came along. Their mom and I differ drastically in how we do things and their dad is stuck in the middle. Wouldn't give up this life for anything, but not totally sure I would let myself get in this situation again, either.

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I am stepmom to DD 14 and DD 12. They have lived with me since they were 4 and 2, but see their "real" mom every other weekend and talk to her every day. It was working out pretty well until the teen years came along. Their mom and I differ drastically in how we do things and their dad is stuck in the middle. Wouldn't give up this life for anything, but not totally sure I would let myself get in this situation again, either.

 

I had a really rotten SM growing up and made sure that I didnt pull any of the crap that she did, and we still did not blend well together as a family. SS17 hates my guts cause his mother does and just feeds it to him with a spoon. Its been more than 7 years and it just keeps getting worse. My DD17 respects my DH and it seems to get even better every year, especially now that she is older.

 

I wouldnt trade DH for anything, but had I known that SS17 and his mother were going to affect my life the way they do, I may not have married so easily!

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In marriage #1 I had a SS. I started dating his dad when SS was 2, we married when he was 4, & divorced when he was 17. I still have a great relationship with him & consider him my son. He is now 30 & married to a wonderful girl, with my first "grandchild" on the way. My son & daughter are his only siblings. His mother & I pretty much always got along, just a few rough spots along the way.

In marriage #2 I had TWO SS. They each had a different mother (my DH was never married to their mothers). That "blended family" was a disaster. Let's just say it's best that it's in the past. Their mothers were nightmares as well as their dad.

Current significant other has one 12 yo son. The child & I get along fine, but his mother HATES me. My kids (now 18 & 22) like my current boyfriend. I feel like he is my soulmate, and just wish we had gotten together years ago.

I can't say that I wish I had never married a man with children, because then I wouldn't have the wonderful children I have now. However, I do think that life is MUCH simpler for those who have ONE spouse & SHARED children. Blended families can certainly work but I think they are few & far between.

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In marriage #1 I had a SS. I started dating his dad when SS was 2, we married when he was 4, & divorced when he was 17. I still have a great relationship with him & consider him my son. He is now 30 & married to a wonderful girl, with my first "grandchild" on the way. My son & daughter are his only siblings. His mother & I pretty much always got along, just a few rough spots along the way.

In marriage #2 I had TWO SS. They each had a different mother (my DH was never married to their mothers). That "blended family" was a disaster. Let's just say it's best that it's in the past. Their mothers were nightmares as well as their dad.

Current significant other has one 12 yo son. The child & I get along fine, but his mother HATES me. My kids (now 18 & 22) like my current boyfriend. I feel like he is my soulmate, and just wish we had gotten together years ago.

I can't say that I wish I had never married a man with children, because then I wouldn't have the wonderful children I have now. However, I do think that life is MUCH simpler for those who have ONE spouse & SHARED children. Blended families can certainly work but I think they are few & far between.

 

Hey, I noticed your signature line! I am a Terri Lynn also! Spelling a little different but hey!

 

Yes, I agree, one spouse with shared children is always the best desirable situation! but unfortunately doesnt always work out that way! I am DW3 and have 2 EXW to work with. Fortunately, EXW1 is a peach and is no problem at all. At all at all. And SS#1 is a gem also. She had all her problems with #2, just as I have all my problems with #2. She is an evil, crazy, wicked :sassing::wacko:, lunatic, and much much more and she brings it into our home through her son. I have recently had to put my foot down and not allow him back into the house. I feel very very guilty about it.

 

I am not saying that DH cant see SS17, he can. He is welcome to go get him and spend the day with him and do things together, but not here in my home. The last time SS17 was here, Super Bowl weekend, he was supposed to be here through Monday morning, BM2 was out of town and she didnt want him to be home alone so she asked if he could stay here and go to school from here. We said yes. So we watched the game Sunday.

 

SS17 and BM2 are BIG Steelers fans (guess who I despise). So I was rooting quietly for the other team. I sat on the couch playing solitaire on my laptop through most of the game, but did root quietly for the other team. Nothing obscene though. That night after the game, everyone went to bed. At about 1:30 am I heard the front door open and I went out to look and SS17 was driving away. I woke up DH and told him. He called BM2 and left her a VM, called SS17 and he said he was upset about a situation with a girlfriend. But, the next day BM2 called and screamed and yelled and cussed and hollered at DH. SS17 told BM2 that he left cause he was upset about me rooting against the Steelers. For the next three weeks we had to put up with nasty screaming phone calls about what a rotten witch I am and how DH always takes my side. It just gets ridiculous. But this is just one example of the crap that SS17 pulls, he sneaks out in the middle of the night, lies, uses me as the excuse, some "wicked" thing that I did as an excuse for his bad behavior which takes the attention off of what he did and puts it on evil step mother Terri (even though it is all BS) and then I become this whipping post for them for the next several weeks. So I am not doing it any more. If I cant even sit on my own couch and watch a football game in safety while he is in my home, then he cannot come back.

 

DH is not taking it well, but he is beginning to understand. A friend of mine said it perfectly. She said to ask him, " Are you asking me to allow your son and exwife to continue to abuse me?" Which is EXACTLY what they are doing, and have been doing for the last 7 years.

 

This is not the first sneaking out, not the first time caught, he has snuck out and stolen my car (at age 15), driven a car with no license, not road legal or road worthy. He has just refused to follow the rules at our house. Flat our refused. I dont know what to do about it other than not let him come.

 

Sorry, I guess I just let loose here eh!

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