I'll probably not make much sense...the thoughts in my mind are very scattered and the emotions are running deep at the moment, so please be patient and bear with me.
I want everyone to know that I'm fully aware that I've failed each and every one of you. I failed myself, my family and my Lord.
It's not a real fun place to be but although I'm there, I do understand many of the whys.
Sorry seems so shallow to say. But I am, because failure was never my intention.
When I was asked to take over this site a few years ago, I came in with a gusto. I had plans and dreams for this place and all of you. I wanted it to be hugely successful and to bring blessings to many peoples lives here.
And then I fell apart.
I lost my home to a fire, I almost lost my family and all that is precious there because of wrong decisions I had made, and for a long period of time I was facing uncertain health issues. I became very ill physically and for a while, doctors were unable to find the reasons. I had to look at issues like dying and leaving my children behind, and it was a very scarey time for me. Finances became tight and there was a point where we almost lost our home. And in the interim, I got behind on payments to our server and we temporarily lost our site at www.mrssurvival.com and www.mrssurvival.net.
I've been a mess, and I know it.
Many of you have been, and are, angry with me. I understand and I'm sorry. Many of you are hurt and confused because of my actions, and I'm heartbreakingly sorry for that too. Many of your are disillusioned and tired of it all, and I understand that too, and am sorry I was the cause of that.
And for some reason, it all hit me today...where we are all at here, and I went flying into my husband's arms cause I'm scared.
I dunno what to say, and I dunno what to do.
But I felt that I owed everyone that I've hurt or disappointed here a public apology, and I felt that I owed everyone an explanation, as confusing as that explanation may seem.
I've asked forgiveness from my Lord and from my family. For some reason, I'm not asking forgiveness from ya'll cause I don't really feel like I deserve it.
But whatever ya'll want to do with this site, whatever ya'll want me to do, I'm open if you have any suggestions.
Other than that, I've laid this at the foot of His Throne, for Him to do as He chooses.
Thank you for all you've unselfishly given over the years. I know that for me, the memories will last a life time.