We did the back bedrooms in a few hours Wednesday afternoon, but the kitchen took us all day Thursday. The 2-car garage took all day Friday. I was there for a few hours today cleaning a bathroom, finishing stove, painting the wall around the kitchen stove and putting up curtains I had washed & pressed. As I was there in the cold weather with the threat of snow in the air, I realized I was close to my breaking point.
After getting needlessly yelled at by my mom this afternoon over getting rid of a fridge Dad told me to get rid of (it was broken and would cost about $200 to fix and they really couldn't afford to store it so he had me list it on Craig's List), I was feeling pretty frustrated and fed up. I realized I'd been scrubbing and scraping and cleaning messes I did not make...I couldn't get this smell out of my hair....I had paint *in my hair*, I hosed a pair of shoes, a set of clothes, possibly a jacket, and a purse (cleaner and coffee spill).
I felt very alone and put-upon. It stung that my dad may be getting dementia and my mom is pretty much quarantined herself to the house. She's so unstable she needs her walker and can barely see things around her. So, I stepped back and tried to see this through my parents' eyes.
Ten years ago, they had the house they were going to retire in. My dad was making good money, my mom had a good business. My sister died suddenly and they had to put her funeral on plastic. A few months later mom was really sick and almost died from a spider bite. About 6 months after that, she fell and broke her hip. The doctors discovered she's diabetic and that glaucoma is taking her sight. Bills are piling up and they end up losing their house and moving into this one they've just moved out of. This was six years ago. Mom is now completely handicapped and needs constant care. Dad can't work for a variety of reasons and gradually takes to doing odd jobs to keep money on the table. SSI and VA Disability barely provide so DH & I step in and help financially a few years ago.
So. Fast forward to now. They are completely dependent on SSI and state aid. They are eligible for decreased costs on meds but only some...diabetes meds are expensive. Food stamps, if used wisely, is barely enough. So DH and I offer to move them. I realize in a way, I asked for this. Part of getting my parents to live within their means is me being closer, geographically speaking, and helping ease the burden.
Having my mom yell at me hurt. But she's the one person on the planet who can punch my buttons like no one else.
I have to say, I have used household cleaners in a new way this week. I never knew oven cleaner could be used on anything other than the inside of an oven. Yep, it can. We used it on the TOP of the stove where the over-splatter from the cooking oil was. With a few applications, it did remove the grease. It dulled the paint, but now the stove looks "used" rather than "abused". We did the same for the side of the fridge - cleaning off the spatter really made a difference, as did a coat of paint on the walls.
The eye-opener was the garage. My dad didn't hire city garbage service so he made dump runs. Rather than leaving the trash in pails, he left it in the garage. We ran through about 50 contractor bags for trash - counting what we removed from the house. He filled a 15 x 12 trailer and a pickup bed FULL. There was literally a ton and a half of trash there.
As we cleaned the garage, it was plain to see mice and rats had invaded and loved living there. We were literally sweeping poo off shelves and boxes. It was disgusting. After it was all done, we probably had a five gallon bucket of poo. The rodents found a box of the Datrex survival rations and mowed through them as well as a BOB that had food in it. They also found some Mountain House food from the early 80's.
He had mislabeled some laundry products. Some homemade laundry soap was in a fabric softener bottle with bleach added...I somehow got it on me and ruined my pants, sweatshirt and shoes. We flushed it and tossed the bottle (and 20 more like it) into the recycling. He was saving empty water bottles (clean but with water inside and moldy lids)...the water had turned brackish.
Sadly, my dad's tools were just tossed, literally, into a pile. I separated them out into respectful groups, onto wheeled dollies for easy access. In these piles were miscellaneous nuts, bolts, washers, nails, rusty hinges, just garage stuff with no rhyme or reason. It was mixed in with mice poo so all the loose stuff was tossed. Disturbing was the collection of old doorknobs...just the knobs and very little mechanism. They appeared to have been gathered with no reason. Also annoying was a shelf that had solvents, open oil cans, a lighter and a box of matches in it. I'm really surprised the whole place didn't go up in flames and smoke.
So. Since knowledge shared is a good thing, here are some things I've learned this week:
Pine Sol is your friend. It's a great solvent and de-greaser. You can spray it on walls to remove spots, even on carpets to loosen dirt. When combined with Dawn in a bathtub full of water, it loosens gunk on mini blinds. On some, we just rinsed them and let them air dry. The smell also penetrates things and makes things smell better.
Oven cleaner can be used *outside* of the oven for stubborn stains. It will rescue knobs and appliances with hard-enameled finishes like fridges and stoves. It will bubble flat paint when applied heavily, so go easy.
Mop & Glo can be used to brighten up dingy floors after scrubbing with solvents and will leave a nice shine.
A razor-blade scraper removes tape residue from windows - even duct tape.
GLOVES: Wear them. Cleaners will dry your hands and crack your skin. Oven cleaner has lye and it will burn. They cost $2 for playtex, get an extra pair.
CLEANERS: For the love of your family and safety, DO NOT keep combustibles together. Keep oil and matches and chlorine cleaners separate. Cans can leak, crack, or rust.
Curtains: Cloth holds odors. Wash the curtains and iron them! If you still have odors when ironing, wash them *again*. When the heat from a vent hits them, the room smells nice if you use a dryer sheet when drying.
Deodorizers: For hair odors, apple cider vinegar does deodorize. Use it after a shampoo. Leave it on in a 1/2C to 1.5C water solution for as long as you can stand, then rinse. I followed up with a Burt's Bees deep conditioner. The smell seems much reduced.
From my reflective side:
Get perspective from a friend. Nothing is ever as hopeless as it seems. I would have walked away from this, but my friend said, "With 3 days of work, it's savable." We will have probably 4 or so FULL days, but still. There was HOPE. I was so close to the situation, I couldn't see it. That's very uncharacteristic of me, little Miss-Glass-Half-Full. Remember: Friends offer support. Good friends help you shovel garage stuff.
When all you see is poo around you, keep moving. It only leaves when you shovel it away.
Use what you store - if you have BOBS, keep them from critters. Go through them once a year. Keep food safe and critter-proof. Cycle food through the pantry. Diversify your preps. Don't be so over-done in one area you get caught with your pants down in another. My parents were "certified" CERT/NET folks and had tons of paper and BOBS but couldn't hold it together financially or health-wise.
I have to say, my usual bouncy self feels OLD. I'm not even 40. My parents are in their mid-sixties. I wasn't planning on dealing with dementia issues this young.
Please, folks, use this as a motivator - keep your stuff tidy, sorted, and CLEAN. Your kids and family will thank you.
