I found out something interesting after jumping into that pool. The experience was so freeing that as soon as I got out of the water, I did it again, several times, then jumped off the diving board. If you can muster the courage to face it down the first time, whatever the fear is, it becomes easier and easier.
My first archaeological dig was in a cave in a limestone bluffline. (Interestingly enough, shimmying around in tunnels on my belly in a cave does not bother me -- go figure!) Above the entrance to Dust Cave was Basket Cave, situated about thirty feet below the top of the bluff. There had been basket burials found there in WPA days and the head archaeologist wanted to check on them so he had a team come in with rappeling gear since that is the easiest way to access the cave. The guy in charge tried his darndest to get me to rappel, told me he used to be afraid of heights as well and once you do it, it is easy after that. I declined. I did, however, go back when everyone was at camp that evening and climbed up to the cave entrance. It was about a twenty foot climb on a slope that was almost vertical but with lots of handholds in the limestone. It had become a matter of personal honor.
Since then I have gone from being so afraid that I had to get my children to hold my legs when I climbed on a chair to change a light bulb to actually scaling a 40 foot extension ladder with a stack of shingles when we were roofing the three story victorian we used to live in. Nowdays I think nothing of climbing up a ladder or scaffolding. So, getting better. All this occurred AFTER the swimming experience. I think facing one fear has an affect on your attitude towards other fears and your ability to deal with them. Still ain't gonna dangle off a rope on the side of anything if I can avoid it. Of course, put one of my children or grandchildren in a situation where their life depended on me hanging from a rope and I believe with everything in me I would find the strength, God would give it to me. And that is the key, God. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". You better believe I was praying when I hit that water.
I used to jump off 50 ft cliffs over a lake, off huge granite boulders and such into a tiny little alpine lake that was so cold you got and ice cream headache which really hurt! crazy. you wont find me doing that now unless the zombies are after me!
I was going to of course jump out of a very loosely held together aircraft at Lakehurst NY NATTC during A school for parachute rigger/survival gear but I found out the rabbit died , which resulted in my son, and the only injury in about 40 some years, maybe much longer, had just happened to a young lady marine , who injured her tail bone. So the commander said it was my choice. Well I agreed not to to this kindly fatherly type of staunch marine CO ......
and then it was like playing tackle football having to be ground crew. The jump circle is huge, it had high grassy clumps and granted I could run all day on road or a dirt path,etc, but I have very short legs, it was like jumping hurdles every other step to reach the ones who did jump..... and falling down.
other worst fear, truly is having an emergency D&C abortion at 5 mos along , being brought to a storage room, navy hospital no less, the next time i was pregnant.
Am I nervous on a scale of 1 to 10?
HOw about 19?
that terrified me.
completely dark dark rooms, claustraphobic stuff also ......
lions and tigers and bears and snakes I can maybe get myself out of. hopefully. Its that hope.
muddy water that you cant see anything or is laden with chemicals because they still dump them, in chaos be very careful, walk around, float over , if you can find a way. There will be terrible spills all over and such things.
If you are having to hike across terrain and such. many miles and you have no communications to help you decide... of course if the zombies are after you go, anyway and wash off later to reduce exposure...
silly fear scaring off my first actual deer. my first deer hunting experience had me hauling a lost hound dog of some value back up a ridge to avoid a big bear coming down the next ridge and dog wanted to protect me.... so much for deer huntin that morning. They spotted each other and it would have been a grand fight. Luckily I was strong enough and agile enough back then to do it with a full American Hound I think it was. He had ID on his collar and we got him home to his grateful owner.
That bear wanted to fight that dog and this was quite aways apart and he heard him growl and bark in my defense, bear was running down that ridge, in North GA, I was like OH NO> not exactly those words and managed to snag the dogs collar and haul him back up with me . Back to my ex and his daddy. It gave us all a good natured laugh and the dog got home finally too. All ok.
Around here the forests are much thicker. I can have a bear in front of me 6 feet or less in many places.
Its actually why a sling bow or low weight , high strength youth bow can work at times. The deer are moseying along and its close so if you find a good spot on their routes and just wait you can pop off an arrow and might need to dodge too! I would have to face down those fears if I am to not be sweating like crazy from inordinate and useless fear just to shoot the darn arrow and hope I hit it , up to 10 yds easy .. and I dont need my glasses for that. Which is handy for spur of the moment.
I really would love to avoid bears and will be very careful in my habits but there are plenty here. Being so alone, and knowing I have a panic disorder now, well... that is very very intimidating. Or it could be very simple and easy to step back and walk away and give it room. Its so varied here.
There are huge open pastures too but I dont want to tick off a farmer .
Fast water can happen anytime here, with rain, that would be something I will avoid if at all possible. Just turn around and let the zombies run by? or other, as needed, hide in a disgusting rotting bunch of thicket and put up with bugs and stuff worm my way in.
ugh. hope i dont get tick or spider bit or snake bit. To avoid dangerous two leggeds, mud makes good camo. lol.
stealth stuff can be very nasty but it can work. outwitting seasoned troops with excellent skills in that< lol. wish me luck I pray they dont bother with such small fry.
After a month or so I will die of fright or get used to being that vulnerable outside I guess. lol. If I can last that long.
I may become quite comfy and I will make a mean camp. I will make it hard to get to me. That may give me time to do something. Primitive means, but can be affective, it would help me get in shape building that too.
If I have to slay dragons though, I am in real trouble.
LOL it should be hard enough work to help me sleep regularly too, lol. Then I will think better and thats the most important thing, to be able to reckon with things quickly and figure it out at times. well every day if one can.
I will smash the dog out of spiders and stuff while going ewwwwww or going to some other extreme just to make sure they are surely dead.
Outwitting small varmints who do carry rabies, getting them out, I havent had much practice but ...... I will deal with it. They can get their own food elsewhere!
and they have stared me down a time or two but if its my stuff...........oh no you dont, club them with long chunk of sapling wood or something.
or make a spear and keep it handy or a few, nothing fancy but useful , where I can grab them and keep my distance. one handed. heavy enough but can do with right hand, not left one.
If I cannot nudge them out, lol.
Sinister mean stern voice, OH you wanna play huh? really loud. I can do that so well. Drill sargeant time, yep, can do.
but I might leave out some spilled rice or oatmeal for a mere mouse, lol.
Edited by arby, 03 June 2012 - 07:06 PM.
