I'm happy with a broken heart
Posted 25 June 2012 - 11:01 PM
My Daddy almost died at Christmas and I had my hands full with taking care of him. DS never even asked about him. He only wanted me to do his financial aid. When trying to do the paperwork for his financial aid I needed his help but it wasn't a convenient time for him. So I told him I was done and he would be on his own. I was then cussed up one side and down the other. He told me that I had ruined his life and was nothing but an evil stepmom and he wanted my name off of his birth certificate. The things he said were so mean and hurtful I almost had a breakdown. The younger kids had no clue what was going on with me other than I was hysterically sobbing. My husband came straight home and of course his family sided with DS AGAIN and never spoke up and said a word against him. I've not spoken to him since except when he pitched a fit about me blocking him from our middle son's phone. How are we to know what he would say to him?
Everybody says let him go, but he's my son and I don't know how. I love him so much. Recently I tried to call but he wouldn't accept the calls or texts. Today I sent him a text and told him that I loved him no matter what and that I had no intentions of holding mistakes he made as a teenager over his head if he could let go of the mistakes he thought I made as a parent. I mean am I going to be raked across the coals for the rest of my life b/c I took his phone for texting in class, or grounding him for making straight F's or not coming in on time?
He never responded to my text. DH talks to him and met with him before we moved. He said he was trying to mend it....I know he feels caught. I have no idea why I'm even coming here with this. I just have nowhere to go with it. It's the worst feeling to carry this around every moment. I know that I loved him as my own child, but from the time he turned 15 it changed for him. Now he hates me. His perception has been tainted by a girlfriend who hates me and by her own words admits she was jealous of me (how sick), an Aunt who hates me b/c I got in the way of her being able to get him (she was trying to talk my husband into letting her have him when his first wife died. We met and I adopted him. SHe says I stole him from her). The aunt gives him everything and enables and rewards him for things such as dropping out of school. He has been "on his own" living with girlfriends family and not working until just recently and that was only b/c our neice caught her husband cheating so DH's sister now has to put money into her divorce and not into making sure our son stays away from us.
I'm happy....everything is going so good since our move. We have a chance to start a fresh life after 5 yrs of hell, but that piece is missing. I miss him so much and love him so much. I feel like I'm grieving a son who is not in the ground.
Posted 26 June 2012 - 12:36 AM
Sometimes all it takes is maturity.... Hope he grows up soon.
Posted 26 June 2012 - 06:46 AM
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Posted 26 June 2012 - 09:01 PM
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