I thought I'd have the week before my defense to study, actually study. I should have realized there would be some way my folks would make it otherwise.
To begin, the initial guardian had to file papers, removing me from guardian and recommending the lady of my choice. I specifically requested he tell my parents that he was merely filing 90 day paperwork and to leave the announcement of a new guardian to me. When the new guardian came on, I would introduce her and there would be very little confusion, stress, etc. That's not how it happened. This man took it upon himself, for whatever reason, to tell my parents, albeit politely and respectfully, that they would have a guardian and it wouldn't be me. They were surprised to say the least.
Dad demanded an immediate visit, IN PERSON. I put him off because I would have been backed into a corner and railroaded, something not healthy or respectful to anyone. They had a doctor's appointment, so we chatted then. As soon as the door was closed, both parents turned on me, "Why are you abandoning us? We only agreed to the guardianship because you said you would take care of us. We don't want a stranger. How dare you do this? "
I did have a lovely little speech prepared . . . .and I realized it didn't matter. They would never 'hear' it, not really, in a million years, so why bother?
The doctor came in and assured them (she had advance notice this was happening) that professional guardians could do things I couldn't and it would be for the best. So, every hurtful barb or comparison has been made - I'm rude, disrespectful, and abandoning them. I've been compared to my mother's older sister who is not a very nice person because I was asking questions and verifying IN FRONT OF THE DOCTOR that indeed, my mother hadn't been checking her glucose nor taking meds as directed. I set up my parents' medical records online and discovered what I knew in part, for a while - that my mom is categorized as a 'uncontrolled diabetic', meaning she has made a deliberate choice her ENTIRE life to not treat her health condition. This has resulted in blindness, poor bone density, and a disease to ravage her body that could have been in check.
Also aggravating the mix was a 'med mix-up' that Dad insinuated the pharmacy gave my mom the wrong eye drop, when instead it was plainly clear the mix-up was him. In addition to not needing to be filled (she had 3!), I had to spend most of a day doing damage control and putting out fires. I also apologized to the pharmacy staff profusely and my dad is banned from picking up meds at the pharmacy.
I came home exhausted. It was 100 degrees that day. In the NW, that's HOT. I was tired, dehydrated, cranky, and frankly, a bit smelly. After a shower and some water, my husband asks, "What would make today a good day?"
He took me to dinner and we tried to gain perspective. I know my parents are acting out, I knew they would. They do every month. It's just worse this time.
This took the better part of a week away from my dissertation prep. Will it affect me badly? I can't say. I won't know until next week.
I did contact my dad's psychologist and tell him of this this week's drama. His response was simple: "Thank you for telling me. Please keep me informed."
When that is all you can do, what else is to be done?
The guardianship could change hands this month or into September. I'm not sure. Until then, I hang on and be polite, pay the bills, and let them act up. Anything they do at this point adds fuel to the fact that they need a guardian. All I can do is wait . . . . and pray.
Hugs to everyone.
