oops, that was my mistake, her recipe does mention heating -- I either forgot to type it or deleted in when I was trying to condense the post...
"in a pot over medium heat" whisk flour and milk until it's thick, then let cool. no times are mentioned regarding the heating though.
Maybe she's just so used to doing it that it's an 'understood' thing for her, because other than that part I either omitted or deleted by accident, that's the entire recipe.
I may give it another whirl this weekend, if it turns out weird again, I will just go with another one. I was intent on getting hers to work, because when she makes it, it's better than bakery icing.
The other thing to consider is, do y'all live in different areas? Could humidity/temperature make a difference?
I'm in Pa, and she's in South Carolina. Their temps are a lot hotter and more humid than here, so maybe.