Adopted Children

[Guest Guest]

For years I had the adopted mothers nightmare of “what ifs”. What if my child/children want to find their “real” mother. What if they like her better. What if she’s skinny and pretty….I already knew she’d be younger! What if they decide they don’t want me in their lives any longer.

 

Well, for those of you that might have some of those feelings read this. DS is almost 30 years old and getting married soon. His fiancée is wondering about his medical background etc. I can’t and don’t blame her; I’d want to know too if there was a possibility of finding out. They have asked me what I know about his biological mother and if I cared if they looked for her. You know what? It doesn’t bother me anymore. My son is grown, we have a great relationship with him and if he finds his biological mom and they become friends I no longer worry.

 

Now, DD is only 23 and when she was home last weekend they all got to talking about it when they were at DS house Sat. night. She emailed after going home and asked if I’d tell her what I know about her biological mom. I’ve told her all I know so she may also delve into it. Again, I’m ok with it and it’s such a relief to know it’s not so hard to deal with after all.

 

So if any of you have adopted children and have the nightmares I used to have, it’s OK, it’s normal but try to relax, it may just all work out in the end.

 

[Guest Guest]

What a huge relief this must be for your whole family, Dee. I cannot imagine what it's like, and I hope it works out for all of you. I suppose sooner or later, it's natural they would want to learn about their biological parents. It's nice they waited til they were mature and ready to handle it. They sound like great kids!

[ozzzyyy]

((((((((Dee))))))))

 

What a wonderful testimony of being the wonderful mother that you are!! I am so happy for the freedom you have in your heart towards your children. Another woman may have birthed your children into this world, but YOU were divinely sent to be their mother for always!

[Guest Guest]

Dee, what a wonderful mother you are...

My Mom was adopted. Her biological mother died when my mom was only six weeks old, and with three other young children to take care of, my biological grandfather just couldn't care for a newborn baby. But, she was adopted by neighbors, so her whole life she has been in contact with her brothers and sister (who just died earlier this year). She is the youngest of them, and although she isn't close to any of them, they keep in touch and visit when my parents come up to the States. My Uncle even flew up from California for my wedding (almost six years ago!). To my Mom, Grandma and Grandpa (the adoptive parents, now gone), will ALWAYS be Mama and Papa.

[Dee]

God Bless You Dee! I always wanted to have a football team but the Lord gave me a beautiful 19 Year old daughter who he wanted back, To watch over me and my boys.. Cappy, The pup and the cat.

I couldn't have children after I had my daughter but that was just as well because I always had a flock of her friends over at the house so my house was filled with alot of commotion...I miss it but I feel to old to start over again and raise children.

Not my cousins though who are the same age as I am. Last year they adopted an 8 yr old girl from Russia and then adopted her 5 year old brother and he came to the Country at Christmas.

I have to give adoptive parents alot of credit. Sometimes I see the ads on tv for the Christian Childrens Fund or other places and I want to adopt but then I think long and hard about the responsibility involving raising a child . So I say God Bless You.

[Guest Guest]

My dd is adopted and she's known it since she was about 2 years old. She's never been interested in knowing her birth family although we took her to meet them when she was almost 18. She hasn't been in contact with them since, and has always told me that she 'never felt adopted'

[logcabinmama]

Dee, you have been a great mom to your children, Fran you too. I think it is just great when you are able to take another persons child and call it your own.

 

Reci, I too feel the way you do at time. I see these kids who need someone and I'd love to do it, but at 60 years old, I think not. Now with having these two grandsons with us this will be different for us.

 

You know what they say, if you were adopted, you were chosen, therefore you are special.

 

Thank you all for being wonderful parents to your own children and to those whom you have adopted.

 

 

[Guest Guest]

Reci and Snowmom, I'd go back to being a foster parent in a heartbeat if our schools were not more than 20 miles away. I just don't want to start the constant being on the road again when it's that far to the school. I feel very sorry for these parents that have to make the trip once or twice a day for children who want to participate in sports or music. Yet many of them with working parents can't be involved in anything so they come home on the bus with no participation allowed. It's too bad!

[Guest Guest]

It had to be interesting having kids coming and going. You must be a person who can really 'go with the flow', so to speak. I have visions of your DH leaving your quiet home in the morning, merrily going to work...and coming home to -"SURPRISE, Dear! We have five kids!!" You must have had some fun times! Share some of the funny ones, please!

[Guest Guest]

I admire people who raise children, not (their own) .... Even tho I had four, I would have had foster children or adopted some if my husband had the temperment for it , but he never would agree to it...

I don't exactly makes deals with God, but he knows if I ever win the lottery, kids and animals are on my to do list, Big Time!!!

[Guest Guest]

That's exactly what happened with our first foster child Mary. DH came home from work one evening and a little 3 year old girl wrapped herself around his leg and said "Hi Daddy". She'd been in so many foster homes she called everyone Mommy and Daddy and when we went somewhere to visit she always acted surprised that we were taking her home with us when we left. Yet, she was one of the happiest foster children we ever had, always smiling and happy. She was finally adopted and I've often wondered through the years how she turned out and if she ever made a lasting relationship with anyone. She would now be 37 years old.

[Guest Guest]

I'll bet things like that happened many times over the years. Don't you look back and wonder now about each and every one of them? It must be strange to have kids in and out like that, not knowing what becomes of them.